I have a confession to make.
A few steps away from turning 30, I decided to do something
crazy. I resigned from my stable and well-paying job and left the person I love
behind in the Philippines. I flew to a country where the only words I knew are
“arigatou ありがとう” and “hai はい”
.
You know those people who left everything behind to do what
they’ve always wanted? Yes, I am one of those crazies. I am a member of those
who got fed up with the routine and constancy of the path dictated by society
and decided that life is too short to be spent mindlessly.
Do you ever wake up in the morning, with an unexplained
weight draping over your shoulders? You get up, shower, and go to work, with a
seemingly heaviness cuffed in your ankles? You go back home, too weary to even
eat dinner and crash like a fallen tree into your bed? Another day passed by
without an ounce of delight or passion trickling into your system. Welcome to
my old life.
As I sit here, listening to the cries of the wind against
the trees in front of my room, it dawned on me that all my struggles to get where I am are all worth
it. I am far from stable as a freelance writer with a measly income, juggling with
my Japanese language studies as I go. I am currently depending on my family for
support - just imagine how scratched my pride is already, when back then I am
the one supplying the cash. Let us not forget the homesickness and the pains of
a broken heart. The shocks of a new environment and the language you can barely
speak. What an amazing life, right?
Sometimes, I wonder why I started so late. In my head, I run
a series of what-ifs, like a slideshow running around my head. And then I
realized that I won’t be able to do this in the earlier parts of my life. I was
needed by my family back then and for that reason, I am ashamed to have even
entertained the thoughts of regret.
God has His reasons.
It will gradually unfold as you move on, don’t worry. You
don’t have to understand everything all at once. His timing is always perfect
and I advise you to trust in Him. I am probably less than a quarter of
understanding how my life has turned out the way it is, what matters is I am
doing things that I am passionate about. I am doing the job I love. I go to
school to study the language I’ve always wanted to learn. I wake up every day
to the beautiful skies of Okinawa. I made new friends. I learned how to accept help
from other people and to be kind to everyone. What is there not to be grateful
about? Plus, I wake up happy with a renewed purpose every day.
Of course, there will be days when I will question why I took this path; while there will be days when I could not be any happier to be where I am now. All I know is that I have a great God, I am well-loved by my family and friends, and I am stronger than I think I am.
And that is all I need to keep going on.
Of course, there will be days when I will question why I took this path; while there will be days when I could not be any happier to be where I am now. All I know is that I have a great God, I am well-loved by my family and friends, and I am stronger than I think I am.
And that is all I need to keep going on.
 |
| Yep, I love Captain America and the beach |
