Dear No One

Dear No One,

You are coming, right?

I asked the fortune teller about you last night, you know. She showed me cards with the king of cups, cups of five on reverse and what was the other one?  It doesn't matter.

All I know is that she said you are coming.

You are coming to find me.

I was happy but it was short-lived, like a person standing next to you in a rainy afternoon waiting for the red light to change. He shared his umbrella with you, just to leave you drenching and shivering once again when the light finally turned green.

I guess a part of me was too broken inside to relish the joy. 

Don't get me wrong, I am happy with everything, I am living every second to the fullest, but not with the idea of having someone else in my life. 

I lost it in the process of finding someone to love. I lost it in my quest for a happy ending. I lost sight of it's true essence. Is it too much to ask to find someone who you can love with all your heart?

That's my lingering question for so many years, only to find out that person is me.

For so long, I have placed my self-worth and happiness in someone else's hands, only to be shattered to pieces the next day. 

I am so imperfect. I am overflowing with flaws. I am a basket of disappointments and weakness. 

How can I let someone else love me when I can't even bear to love myself, right?

So before you find me, I want to fully embrace and to learn how to love myself totally and wholly .  

I want to be better and better each and every day so that when I finally meet you one day, I know that I am the best version of myself. I want to love myself first and make amends with my past and mend my broken pieces too.

I will travel the world and experience the amazing wonders that this world holds. I will write without holding back, I will dance in the rain even if everyone thinks I'm crazy, I will watch the stars until I fall asleep and let the light of the rising sun wake me up, I will love people that I hold dear with all my heart and I will be closer to God than ever before.

I will learn to love each and every pieces of myself so that if there comes a day that you will leave me, I will be alright. 

Until then,

Please try not to die. 

Look left and right when crossing the street. Don't text and drive and drink and drive for that matter. Live your life as beautifully as I will too. I can't wait to hear all about the adventures that you've had and you will have in the days to come.

Looking forward to seeing you soon,

Sincerely,

Daphne