Day 3 Journaling Challenge

Let me pose this scenario to you: You want to have a nice lunch somewhere, like in a nice cafe or a restaurant, or you want to watch this movie that you've been dying to see and have watched the trailer a hundred times due to your unsatiated desire to watch the film. Here's the catch though - you're alone - No boyfriend, friends busy on the only day you're free and your family living a thousand miles away.

How would you feel if you're in that situation? Would you still watch the movie or go dine somewhere by yourself?

9 out of 10 would say "no way! That's so sad! Call me if you want to catch a movie or go eat somewhere!"

Okay. That scenario up there is me. Obviously.

So today, while I was taking a stroll at this big mall in Okinawa, I noticed the liberating joy of being alone.

I look forward to the days and the few quiet minutes in the morning when I could be alone with my thoughts and let my mind wander & imagine things and far-off places that people around me wouldn't dare try to understand.

I look forward to the few minutes before I drift off to sleep to tell myself that I did my best today and that I could do better tomorrow.

I look forward to my day offs when my time is mine and mine alone and that I could get lost driving Rusty around town and discover new places.

I look forward to the minutes or hours spent on the floor of my room, just getting my hands tattooed with ink blots from my pen or graphite stain from my pencil.

I could go on and on but I won't bore you any further.

A lot of people identifies "being alone" to "being lonely". If you are one of them, then I don't think you'd want to read on any further. But if you're still willing to bear with me, then a big high five to you and a virtual hug from the land of Okinawa Soba and purple yam flavored KitKats. (You're so defensive, Daphne)

There are a lot of days when I long for a companion or a partner. Sometimes, I can't help but think that I should have brought one of my sisters or my friends with me here in Okinawa. During the times I'm in pain, I would sorely wish that someone would buy me a painkiller or cook me congee or caress my hair until I fall asleep.

However, I have more instances that I am thankful that I am alone. Like times when I want to walk around the house naked or sing my heart out in the car without the fear of damaging someone's eyes or eardrums. Many times, I am thankful that I am the only one to endure my cooking or my messy room or my random loud farts. Every day, I am grateful that I am building the courage to fight the fear of doing things by myself, loving myself and admitting to myself that sometimes I am beautiful and it's okay to love even the most broken part of me.

Aloneness is not loneliness my friends.

This time of my life is the truest I've ever been to myself. I admit I still like my old Animes, braiding my hair and sleeping with my stuffed animals. There are times that I would try to change them but inevitably, I learned to accept them. This childish Daphne is another part of me that I need to embrace.

Being alone taught me how to accept myself wholeheartedly, through loud farts and bad morning breath.

Being alone taught me that I have untapped strength within me that would get me through anything in life - bad period pains, stubbed toe nails or broken hearts.

Being alone taught me that you are responsible for your own happiness and that happiness lies within you.

Being alone doesn't suck. It's fun! It's just a matter of perspective. Just think about that whole tub of ice cream all to yourself :)

I should get a haircut soon